When I'm spacing out with my friends, this is probably what I'm thinking of.

[partypaprika]

Title: Challenge
Author:
partypaprika

Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Ryoda
Chapter: 1/?
Genre: Humor
Summary: Ryo gets talked into an utterly ridiculous competition against Jin and Yamapi with Ueda as his partner.
Disclaimer: If I owned this, that would be nice, wouldn't it?
Notes: This was partly inspired by boobandboobs' s competition drabble idea and then my friend talking about a Canadian reality television show. She mentioned how the guys (for this show) cross dressed for one competition and my mind immediately went to JE. I'm a sad sad person. So, essentially, this is complete crack.

It started out innocuously enough. Ryo had, as usual, been making fun of Yamapi and Jin during one of their co-rehearsals. Ryo had worked up to that point where he was calling the two of them brainless sluts who couldn’t do anything right, when Jin interrupted.

“There are things that we can do right!” Jin had pouted.

Yamapi had echoed him with a “Yeah! We can definitely do some things just fine.”

Ryo laughed long and hard, finally drawing the attention of the other NewS and KAT-TUN members.

“Whatever you think you could do well, I could beat with my eyes closed plus dead weight.”

Jin asked “How would something dead help?” and Yamapi smirked widely at Ryo. Ryo was a little thrown off by Pi’s change in attitude.

“Hey Jin,” Yamapi started. “I think those are fighting words.” At this point, the other group members, knowing a good thing when they saw it, started gathering around the trio.

“Are you actually attempting to challenge me?” Ryo scoffed. “Do you really think that you pathetic two could win against me?”

“Challenge! Challenge! Challenge!” Jin and Yamapi exclaimed excitedly before high five-ing. Ryo watched them warily.

“And of course, in the interest of fairness, you’d get a partner, since there’s…two of us and…one of you.” Yamapi had continued after a brief discussion with Jin.

“I don’t need a partner to win. I can beat you two bird-brains without any extra help.” Ryo had laughed.

“So, what you’re saying,” Jin said. “Is that you could win no matter who your partner is.”

“I don’t need a partner, but yes, of course.” Ryo said irritably.

Jin and Yamapi had only exchanged glances for only a brief moment before turning back to Ryo, smiling broadly.  

“Well, then, since you can win with anyone, we pick him to be your partner.” Jin said, gesturing towards the back of the room. Ryo turned around to see where Jin was pointing.

“You want Massu to be my partner?” Massu was sitting over in the corner with Ueda. He didn’t even look up from the food that he was eating.

“No, no, no…” Yamapi said.

“Thank god for small miracles.” Ryo muttered under his breath. Massu would be completely useless, no matter what kind of competition. Unless it involved food, and Pi and Jin were marginally smarter than doing that.

“Ueda will be your partner,” Pi said loudly. Ueda’s head snapped up and he looked around, slightly bewildered.

“Are you kidding? Massu would be bad enough, but Ueda is worse than useless. I refuse to have him as my partner! I DON’T NEED A PARTNER!”

Ueda had gotten up at this point and stalked over to figure out what was going on.

“I thought you said that you could beat us no matter what. You’re saying that you can’t?” Yamapi asked innocently. Ryo turned red and thought briefly about using Pi’s scarf to strangle him. He envisioned headlines, “Handsome Idol Kills Leader of Group After Idiotic and Enraging Question.” He shook the image from his head. 

“I could beat you even with a useless partner like Ueda holding me back. We will beat you so badly that you’ll be too embarrassed to show your face for a week.”

“Alright! You’re on!” Jin said. “Now for the terms, the losers have to be the winners’ slaves for one week.”

“Deal.”

“WAIT. Hold up!” Ueda finally managed to interject. “I am in no way agreeing to do this ridiculous competition, no matter what it entails. I would rather throw myself over a cliff than have to be on a team with Ryo.”

“Can I second that Princess? I’d rather throw you over a cliff as well.” Ueda just glared back at Ryo.

“Now, now.” Yamapi cut in smoothly. “This is a terrible way to start working together.”

 “Ryo may stupidly have agreed to take the two of you on, but I haven’t and will not. No—I’m not going to change my mind, Jin.”

“What about this?” Jin said slyly. “If you win, I’ll get you Gackt’s signature.” Ueda hesitated.

“No.”

“If you win, I’ll make sure that you get to meet him.”

“….No.” Ueda said reluctantly.

“Well, if you really don’t want to…” Jin started regretfully and then pantomimed a movie camera. Ryo watched as Ueda turned bright red and gulped.

“Finefinefine! I’ll do it!” Ueda said hastily. And then turned to glare at Ryo. “If we lose, I’ll kill you.” Wait, Ryo thought, that was my line.

And as Jin and Yamapi high fived and did their handshake, Ryo realized he’d just completely been outwitted by these two idiots.

NEXT UP! What is it that Ueda, Ryo, Yamapi, and Jin are wearing? Who are the lucky judges of this competition? Is there angst? Perhaps. Most likely a lot of yelling and enforced team bonding. And next chapter will be longer. I promise!